Both Ella and Boyo are and have been extreme mother pigs. Both have become and become completely hysterical if they are further than half a meter from me. Especially if someone else is holding the leash. Oh my God, how hard it is, apparently. That's how you feel ashamed, some times.
I can't possibly remember all the times I've talked to friends who claim my dogs are like that, because I want it. If I didn't want it, would they not be so, mean it.
I understand why you think so, but I'm not entirely sure it actually depends on that. Or, at least not alone.
This is how I think;
Ella was very a lot of dog to handle. And when I say a lot of dog, I mean very, very much dog. Defense German Shepherds are not like ordinary dogs, I can say. There are many people who think they can handle such dogs, and most are wrong. There weren't very many people I trusted when it came to dealing with Ella in particular, because she demanded so much from whoever held the leash or had her around. It didn't take much for her to get out of control, and it was about knowing how to behave around her in order for her to function. Not many had the authority required for her to follow them in a way that worked.
Boyo is significantly more manageable. However, he is easily stressed when I am not around, and I'm not too keen on the idea of leaving him with someone who doesn't know how to handle it sensibly. In addition, he is quite large, and apparently quite strong (say those who experience him that way – I don't think it's worth five cents), which means that you have to be able to handle a large dog if and when he gets stressed on the leash (or without, for that part). Because I use methods other than positive reinforcement in such situations, don't want to implicate someone who does because I think Boyo would be most confused and know even less how to behave. What he needs in such situations is a calm, safe, stable, determined and clear person who can support him and through the energy projected, help him calm down.
I'm full aware that my dogs so far tend to get ridiculously mummy. It can be quite embarrassing sometimes, actually. However, it is not something I actively work for, and even though I think I have a handle on most things I do or don't do with my dogs, this is exactly something I don't have the faintest idea what I need to do differently to change.
The only reasons I personally can make sure it turns out this way, is exactly what I mentioned earlier. Both dogs are of the same breed – shepherd, which is a very loyal dog, which also (I think) easily connects with ONE person, even if the dog is among several people. The, as well as the fact that I am single. I am the person my dogs know best, most intimate, we have very close relations, and they therefore become very dependent on me.
Ella was for example very dependent on me as a leader, for her to function. We had a well-planned system for how our togetherness would look like, and when someone else took the reins, it was obviously different for her. Now Ella certainly had a psyche of steel, but that doesn't automatically mean that she wanted to have it in a different way than she did.
Boyo is one black dog with me, but I think he's very different when I'm not around (from what I found out). Given that both are shepherds, you can also count on a lot of drama – both are and were drama queens, in their own ways. #facepalm Not to mention that they (shepherds, in my experience) moreover, are not independent for five öre – they really need their driver.
I personally think not that it's particularly strange that my dogs get so ridiculously mummy. It's not fucking fun – but it is not strange (and those are two completely different things).
Is it possible to do something about? Is it necessary? Is Boyo so motherly that he can't function without me?
We begin with Boyo – and no, I wouldn't say he's so mummy that he doesn't work. When I started my journey through research, surgery and treatments for my breast cancer, he had no choice but to learn to deal with being without me at times. It was very difficult for him in the beginning, but he really had no choice. I have been lucky that the person who helped me the most with him, basically have the same way of handling dogs as I do. It made things easier, and allowed him to get through it all without breaking down. 😀
Is it possible to do something about? Ella is now irrelevant, but with Boyo!? And, I am convinced of that. Han ju mer from now on, than he was before. However, it is required that there are people who are willing to spend time with my dog without me. IT is not the easiest. Not because I don't know people, but either they are busy in their own lives, or they live so far away that it becomes a very big project.
Is it necessary?
Both. It is, as I said, a bit embarrassing to have a dog that is so extremely motherly, as my dogs become. I sometimes wonder if it would be different if I had a dog of a different breed. It's worth thinking about the next time it's time to get a new dog. It really wouldn't be wrong to have a dog that is actually more independent, can I think. But at the same time, it doesn't bother me enough to think it's a big problem. I think there are more others who find it tricky – but that's up to them.