I live with the bipolar disease, so for me personally, as man, is the question of balance among the very, the most important. It comes before everything else. So it's actually for dogs too – not to mention the human-dog relationship. I realized this very recently when I thought about it.
The idea arose when I thought about Lilo, and what I wrote in my last post about helping her build confidence. Namely, I watched an episode of Balansguiden, a small series of clips with Alexandra Ortega and her colleague Linnea (and a surname I have forgotten). In this particular episode, they talked about how we humans like to put labels on our dogs – such as, for example, that a dog is perceived to be insecure and insecure. The point they worked really hard to get across was that there is a difference between being insecure/insecure in a situation, and having insecurity/uncertainty as a basic characteristic.
Combine that thought with my own thought that Lilo is not an unsafe dog, then you quickly realize that she doesn't need help to build any self-confidence. Because she already has self-confidence.
When I thought about our walk today, I came to the conclusion that while on the one hand she stopped at regular intervals to stand and look at, among other things, cars, she did not seek my support. She stood almost a whole leash length away from me, and although her tail was between her legs, I did not perceive her as being afraid, anxious or insecure.
Curious, pensive – and, with a desire to find out more, but preferably at some distance without engaging directly.
I like to meet a dog who despite being in such a dire situation earlier in her life, yet has a backbone called duga and which step by step discovers a completely different kind of life.
And I think that best I can do for Lilo is actually not “help” her to build something. The best I can do is offer balance, so that she herself gets room to develop completely on her own. She doesn't need me for that. I can guide her and show her how things work, but she can and should do the rest herself.
It's coming never to be the same as doing things with your own dog, but I think we should focus on completely everyday experiences. Go for walks, look at cars, bicycles, people, forest, house and so on. Maybe take a bus and walk into town.
Because the whole thing is that she is affected by how I (and of course her mother) dealing with her experiences. I contribute with balance so that she can experience things in peace, she has full space to be herself and develop in a positive and healthy way.
It's with people like this thoughts and insights I think (!) that at my house the most important thing is not to train or be in a particular way. Here, it is really most important that dogs are allowed to be themselves. So that everything works as smoothly as possible, for all parties – not just for me or for the dog, so balance needs to be the most important thing. Then direction, and by that I don't mean whether we should go to the right or to the left, without me as a person being clear about how things should work.
Dominance, if you wish. With the addition that different dogs need to have the direction pointed out to them in different ways.