I take the liberty of interspersing the posts that deal with different dog people's theories and/or methods, write a post in more detail and with an example of actual situation, brings up what I believe is more about leadership and where dog training does not really fit or work, and what consequences this has from my perspective in the long run. Lots of use and fun.
A thing like exercise of dog is not necessarily the most effective, is this about respecting others' space and privacy. I have a fantastic example of this, in the case of the little Bichon Havanese Mysak. He is in many ways a super cozy dog, but he likes to jump up with his front paws on my thighs – among other things when I'm sitting on the dass. This is not a behavior I particularly like, and therefore I completely sonic put him down. Does he do it again (which he often does), I put him down again – a little more definite.
That's how we can hold on a few times until he realizes that I actually mean it.
Meanwhile, I put him down, I haven't been mean for a single second, heavy-handed, made him feel stupid, obliged, exposed or anything else bad. The only thing that has happened is that I made him understand that näh, I don't want you to do that.
He doesn't especially often nowadays, compared to before, I can say.
It's exactly the same say the times when he takes the liberty of jumping into my lap without first checking if I'm ok with it.
To say that “a dog takes over” don't necessarily need to (even though it may mean that) mean that the dog suddenly becomes super-dominant and takes over that way. It can be about such simple things that the dog intrudes at times and times and completely ignores your own privacy, while at the same time requiring you to respect his privacy.
In such situations must it be ok to say no and/or correct. What you need to remember is that the more intense the dog is in its violations, the more intense you need to be in your no/correction. I've written about it before, and I think I described it as “the intensity of your correction needs to match the dog's intensity”.
If you do just that exactly what I described, but the dog does not listen, do you have a problem. And I say you, because then the problem lies with you and not with the dog. Your problem in this situation is that you are not credible in the dog's eyes. Then it is not the dog that needs to be trained or put in place, but it is you who needs to take care of strengthening yourself.
It is this, good people, leadership is about for me. Knowing who you are, to be true to oneself, to be clear about one's own boundaries, to communicate to the dog in a straight and clear way what is ok – or not ok. It is never about hurting the dog, but if not you can set up the boundaries for what your relationship should look like, then who will do it for you?
And about this with that train your dog is important to you, I can guarantee that it will be so much easier if, just by being yourself, you can get your dog to listen and believe what you say.
Don't forget that your dog (and others,!) know exactly everything about your self-image, your self-esteem, your ability to set and keep boundaries, without belching out everything you'd need years of psychotherapy to get out of a therapist. If you don't mean what you say, your dog will not respect you. To mean what you say, for those who missed it, does not mean being physically violent, to force the dog to do something, but it simply means – to mean what you say.
For you who choose to interpret the concept of leadership based on your own negative experience of Cesar Millan, I can only regret. The expression does not belong to Cesar Millan – he has no exclusive right to it. Nor does he have exclusive rights to methods of exercising leadership, just as bad men have exclusive rights to the role of father or husband.
If it has not emerged (I know I talk a lot about leadership) I actually have nothing against training a dog, and I agree that in those situations where you really exercising his dog, so positive methods are very successful.
That me not agree with if is that positive training methods are the only truth and the only thing you can/should do. I am convinced that you make yourself and your dog a disservice by not making demands on your dog and only praising and rewarding.
I wish a more nuanced discussion regarding leadership versus dog training, as a Christmas present. It would be so incredibly grateful.
End of rant – the next post will be about more dog savvy! 🙂