During the past six months, I have had to reprimand Ella in a rather sharp way on two occasions. On both occasions, it has been because she rose so high in her energy that she could no longer make sound decisions or behave in an acceptable manner. Times like this require me to meet Ella's intensity on the same level – otherwise I can't make myself understood.
What is interesting on these occasions is to see how the surroundings react. The first time we were surrounded by a group of people we usually meet once or twice a week, some of which belong to Ella's best friends. This particular time, Ella became very agitated and assertive in her search for attention, treats and cuddling/play. I ended up having to grab her, and of her own accord she sort of slipped down on her side and lay panting for a while while she slowly came to her senses again.
My personal opinion is that when we are standing together with people we know, it is perfectly ok for her to seek attention, begging and so on – to a certain limit. When she gets too intense, I consider it my job as her mother to help her tone it down. My dog goes from high energy to turning into a steam locomotive with no stop button very quickly, and then I'm the one who has to act as her brake pad.
Ella reacts and generally responds very well to physical contact. But it's not enough to lay a hand on her and tell her to calm down. So that my dog will have the opportunity to breathe in and out a couple of times, come to my senses and actually hear what I'm saying to her, I have to grab her body and show her it's time to calm down.
For those who have not had this type of dog, it can certainly both sound (when I tell) and look very hard. What I have to say about that matter is that it is difference between dog and dog. Some have an energy and intensity that needs help to get down to a manageable level – both for his own sake and that of others. For me, it's obvious that I can't handle Ella and one of my best friends' little ridiculousness, squeaky Bichon Havanais in the same way – I can't use the same energy, same voice mode – and with the little gentleman, nor the same physical touch.
Why?
Because they are two completely different individuals, different in size, physical strength, energy level, intensity and so on. However, I have friends who have and have had dogs bigger than Ella, with similar energy and intensity. They are very understanding of how I need to handle my dog in situations where she risks taking over solely through her intensity and firm conviction that she is a steam locomotive.
Another I had the experience just the other day – or the other night, shall I say. We were out and on our short (as they are, numer) walk we managed to meet four cats. Ella likes the idea of chasing cats outside and gets equally excited every time we see a cat. The last time, a cat was half-hidden in the bushes by the parking lot outside my house, and Ella revved up within a thousandth of a second. The cat was pretty cool – it stayed where it was just looking at us. But Ella barked and pulled at the leash and behaved like a muppet.
I have never liked this behavior of Ella. Never. Sometimes it is more manageable, other times it was damn near impossible to get her down to a manageable level. This time it worked decently.
Although I will be always a little embarrassed when, for example, I have growled at my dog and discover that someone has heard it. This time a young woman passed by, and I hatched something like “sorry for my dog's behavior”. Much to my surprise, she was happy to see that someone is actually correcting their dog's behavior on the same level as the dog is, and that made me happy.
I think many miss that, that you have to meet your dog with the same intensity, when performing a reprimand/correction. Having a soft energy when you have to be firm against a dog that is overly intense doesn't work. It's really just a mess of everything – believe me, I have tried.
The most important lesson I think you can and should learn from this with reprimands is that you should never be angry. It is not the easiest of all times – again, believe me, been there, done that. But when you realize that the dog is not behaving in a certain way to insult or embarrass you, is it easier (anyway for me) not to be irritated to the same extent. Anger is not conducive to communication and clouds your intent and purpose in what you are trying to get across.
To communicate with your dog is an interaction and an interaction. Your dog responds to your energy, and through your dog's behavior you can find out if you need to change something in your own way of being.
Usually easier said than done, but an extremely exciting way to develop. ♥