As I said, Ella is no longer a youth. She turned ten years old that day 4 mars, and already a couple of years before that it started to be noticed, this with her joints. She has been limping on and off, and we have gradually been forced to reduce the length of our walks. The distances we walk today as long walks are comparable to the bedwetting when she was younger.
I don't know about I'm extra ridiculously bloody, but I would like to be a little careful with my dog now that she is old. We don't go very far, and we don't go very fast either – normal walking pace on the days we feel like it, otherwise more slowly.
What I think is the hardest thing about living with an old dog is the degree to which it is ok to be bloody. An old acquaintance once told me that he would rather take advantage of the time that is left, makes sure the dog has fun, to create new memories together – rather than being overly cautious.
And the fact is that there is a point in it. I like to forget about it because I can't imagine being without my Ella, men – for whose sake am I sparing her?
Is it for that I will be allowed to keep her for another couple of months, but that she is bored in the meantime? Or is it for her sake, so that she won't have to suffer?
Our walks is as I said was very, very short now. We don't go out to exercise or train fitness – we go out so that Ella can piss and shit, smell a little and roll in rancid shit on the lawns. Bark at another dog (or cat, for that part) – be so dog-ig, as well as. And that's ok.
But the fact is that there is only so many different ways to go around this. No matter which of them we choose to go, so it wasn't long since we last went there. And believe me when I say it; it's so terribly boring that we both almost snap.
We have one electric light trail here. It is close and good – and furthermore, it is divided into a number of shorter pieces crossed by paved walkways where you can get off if you tire of the track. This means that you don't have to go all the way, but can only walk a short distance.
That's what we did today. I have pulled myself to go there, because I couldn't afford to buy a tick necklace for Ella until very recently. She has already had two ticks, and ticks are among the most disgusting things I know. But now she has her collar and the ticks can stay on her blades of grass, branches and so on and don't have to come home with us at all.
And I thought when we went the first one, very short bit in the track that we need to do this more often. I have no idea how much time we have, me and my Ella, but I'll probably abandon that idea of saving her as much as possible. It's probably a tad nicer, both for her and me, if we can walk a bit in the groove and have a real cozy instead of dying of boredom on the footpaths just around here.
But it does me very sad to think how we have to adjust to her stamina which after all just keeps getting smaller and smaller. Sooner or later we'll get there when she can't manage to walk up the stairs to the third floor where I live, when she can't manage to jump up on the couch or on the bed. Sooner or later I will have to call and make an appointment – and I don't want that.
There is a lot which is positive about having an old dog – they are wise and wise and damn good. But they are not getting any younger, and finally they leave one.