Sure I have told you about what happened somewhere at the end of January/early February? That Ella gave me the feeling that it's time for her to leave me. The time perspective she gave me then was about six months. Since then I have gone from worrying gray -haired, to believe that she will live forever.
Now is the time For a new time perspective. We just lay and cuddled for a while on the bed, And I get the feeling that it is maybe two months left. Earlier today I felt a bit on the tubers she has under the teats, and I think they have grown a little. Plus she got one more under the teat above, so now there are three pieces instead of two.
I don't take with her if I'm going away anywhere where it is longer to go than she can – Not now that I don't have a car anymore. Last week I was off longer than she can, and someone told me it is so strange to see me without my dog. It is not even close to how strange it is to go from home without her. The thought of being without her is more than I can almost manage.
Two months. It's not long. I think it will be perhaps when she has run, Which I suspect she will do somewhere during the first half of July. Juvert tumors apparently grow faster during running, But I don't know if it is they or anything else that makes it run out.
Most of the time I push it away, I slam off. I obviously broke down as we cuddled on the bed, Then Ella, dog drunts, Immediately the field fled as a pay in butter. She doesn't like when I cry, so i usually try to let go. But it is not always going.
How should I manage without my Ella? I seriously do not understand how to manage. She is my one leg, my ena arm, My one brain, and all my heart.
I have a hard time To finish writing this post, for I just cry. And so I think I have to get money together so there is when it's time. It resolves somehow, but it has to be done.
How the hell is This goes? A life without Ella. A decade with the world's best dog. Almost a quarter of my life.
My animals are My closest family. When one of them disappears I break.