I sit and listen to Dogs of Pegasus podd, and though I usually agree with Alexandra Ortega in what she's talking about, it is not always I recognize myself. But in this section for connection against attachment I recognize myself in several ways.
Alexandra Ortega works with helping people develop the relationship with their dogs, as well as helping them sort out various problems that have developed in the dogs. As a parenthesis, I can say that when a dog develops any kind of problem, it rarely has, if ever, to do with the dog itself, but the root of the problem lies with man.
I have never met Alexandra, and did not seek help from her either. The reason for that is several; partly, it hasn't been very long since I even knew her, partly, I have not experienced the need to seek help with Ella, even if our life together has not always been a bed of roses. Also, I live very far from Alexandra.
With that said; i follow Alexandra on, among other things, Facebook and see much of what she shares. I like her attitude towards dogs, which corresponds to an extremely high degree with my own. But unlike me, Alexandra works professionally with dogs.
To get there I wanted to with this post, dock. 😀 I've been listening to her podcast episode about the difference between what she calls connection and attachment. I found her descriptions of the concepts to be somewhat unclear, but I still think I understand what she means is the difference. Although I think you have to listen to the episode yourself to form your own opinion.
In this particular section there were above all two things I recognized myself in so ridiculously much. One is in how unbelievably damn excessively happy I was when I was sitting in the car on the way home from the working dog club in Örebro, the 29 april 2009, with an eight-week-old Ella sleeping in her arms. Of course I was completely overwhelmed by her energy, intensity, Willingness to work and everything else I have told you about, but that particular moment I will never forget.
The other thing I know again me extremely well in, is the will and determination in acquiring one “difficult” dog. After all, I am more or less exclusively interested in so-called difficult and sharp breeds, and have no desire to have an easy one, soft and kind dog. I actually had a bit of a hard time not laughing when Alexandra described her process on the way to getting her Alfie, because it is very similar to my own process.
It struck me by the way, when I listened, that I might have come up with a reason why I want resistance in a dog, instead of a soft dog. I have not lived an easy life. I've had to struggle most of the time, more in periods, less in other periods. Ease of access is boring to me. I am probably not an easy and simple person myself, and because of that I have perhaps greater understanding, tolerance and acceptance for a dog that is a bit tougher.
It is such as remains to be seen.
To return briefly to this with connection and attachment; I have told you that my relationship with Ella has been very special. I think that what we had together was what Alexandra describes as connection. As I see it, not everyone is blessed with that kind of relationship with a dog. I haven't really thought about why it will or won't be like that, but maybe it has to do with, and if so what, you expect from your dog. As I said, I had no direct expectations of what or how things would turn out with Ella, when she took her obvious place by my side, like eight weeks old.
Regardless; I hope that the relationship with my next dog will be as special as the one I had with Ella. It will never be the same, but that does not mean that the next dog will be worse. Just different. An individual, the same way Ella was.