As a pingpongboll
It felt tricky to publish my last post, because I spent the night today (and most of today) to be sad. It kind of comes over me with certain …
Tag: She FM
without Ella
My reality is emptied of Ella. I thought about it when I got up from the laundry today. I have ten years usually had Ella me out when I wash, …
More grief
I have had the Karma here several days this week. In addition, I and the little girls had men visit the room; stay, an older polar-mix old man of around ten bast who hung out …
Ella was here
I am one of those who believe that the only thing that happens when you die is that you change form. Namely; you don't really disappear, you just change shape …
More recurring thoughts about Ella
That's what happens when you lose a dog, I notice. A lot of thoughts rotating in the skull, over and over again. I have two blogs to vent my thoughts …
Missing Ella
Yes. I don't really know how to start this post. The days pass and look exactly the same. Even more so now, than before Ella left me. I …
Two weeks without Ella
Two weeks ago I was sitting on the floor of the vet with Ella in my arms. She was disloyal, completely relaxed. There was not an iota of life left in her body. …
Grief work, day 2
First, I just want to say that I have read your comments, you who posted on Facebook. I haven't answered, because I have nothing to say. I'm completely empty. …
First day without
It has been more than a day since Ella had to fall asleep for the last time. Permanent. I myself have a horse job in front of me. To learn to live with the silence and …
I don't have a dog
A few hours ago I had a dog. Now I no longer have a dog. After the severe deterioration of the past six months, I have let the Armed Forces' Ella move on.